tiny book #1, ca. 2000 - 2006 // photographed by pan ellington. i first wrote this line on the very first page of the very first tiny notebook i ever carried. begun years ago, the specific number of which i will forgo mentioning here. it was one of those lines that tend to pop into … Continue reading life and death in one hour.
for bea, 7 july 2018; written & photographed by pan ellington. Have you ever watched the narrative of your life fold back upon itself in variations of the same theme, playing itself out in repeating patterns over the years? Most of the time I can’t help but fucking laugh. This time, though, there’s really nothing … Continue reading brave. for beatrice.
christmas, downey, california, ca. For me the erasure began before she actually died. My inclination here is to write, “long before,” but that would be misleading, you see, because she had her first surgery when I was five and was dead before I turned nine. Three, four years, tops, is, in no way a long … Continue reading marty.
martha young, library card, ca. 1978. She loved them and had many in the house. Those in addition to the stacks we’d have checked out from the Downey City Library every week. I remember always being curious about the books she read, even before her passing. As a little kid she’d often find me with them, … Continue reading words on pages — the ghost in my machine.