her legacy isn’t that. i dreamt wished deluded myself into seeing something else. not the tranny freak faggoty lady boi that i am too broken
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the beauty in the mob.
I sat there scrolling through my feed in the morning, as I usually do, and stumbled upon it. I knew what would happen as soon as I did. These things do have a tendency to move me so. But I clicked, anyway. And when it was over I sat there, kicking myself for getting all … Continue reading the beauty in the mob.
the pan i might have found.
inktober #13, 23 october 2015.The words sank in further as my eyes scanned the sentence again, stinging with the first drops of tears, tears I never could seem to will to come before, but that these days fall so freely. I let the words float through my mind before their inevitable land in my heart, the … Continue reading the pan i might have found.
source material & fiction.
“a f*cked-up fairytale” source material; composition book & journal, 2001.I didn’t set out to write a novel. It happened completely by accident, one of those life-changing moments that, at the time it happens, seems completely innocuous. I never doubted that I’d spend my life writing in one medium, film. Screenwriting had been it for me. Up … Continue reading source material & fiction.
my name is pan ellington.
my name is pan ellington and i am not a lesbian. i am queer. nor am i a girl. or a boy. i am androgyne. i am trans. me, shaving. ca, 1978.i grew up in a boring, suburban town outside of los angeles with a regular mom and dad for a time, neither of whom i … Continue reading my name is pan ellington.
a musing on a backpack.
a musing on a backpack, see?amusing for the fact that i have earned a bachelor's degree as a double major at uc berkeley*and yet!find myself working a joe job with this startup cleaning the homes of tech kids in san francisco at twenty bucks an hour.> when you first get hired you get a kit … Continue reading a musing on a backpack.
a different part of the story.
"Dead Mother and Child" - Edward Mvnchi really should be working right now, but it's been one of those daysone of those days that doesn't come so often anymoreone of those days that i've just become accustomed to wear.some days, like today, i don't know that it's coming,the emotional hook to the chin because i … Continue reading a different part of the story.
beginning on thursday.
© James Wilson, The Forum Newsgroup.i really don't know where to begin.so i thought i'd start on thursday.i discovered this semester that i'm basically the same student i was when i was twelve.limited engagement = minimal effort.true story.my transcript reflects this.if this semester were to be written as an academic paper, i would title it, … Continue reading beginning on thursday.