my name is pan ellington and i am the queer trans sun of martha renteria & harry young. i write this requiem in honor and memory of carlos renteria, my uncle, life partner to bob. charles renteria, ca. 1950s portrait of a queer american family; east los angeles, ca - 1978 // photographed by martha … Continue reading requiem for charles renteria, my uncle – a gay man born in 1932.
the four horsemen of the apocalypse - artwork by jukenos on deviantart as i write this a fire burns southwest of lake tahoe that, as of today, covers almost two hundred thousand acres. it is one of many currently burning throughout my state. as i write this i'm thinking of the boy in kabul who … Continue reading stumbling towards the apocalypse – a manifesto.
henry's at the graduate hotel; berkeley, ca.; 2020 the signs hang undisturbed in windows all across america - "now hiring." and workers aren't biting, as i'm sure you've heard by now. with everyone from the united states chamber of commerce, your mom & pop restaurant owners, chain restaurant regional managers, ceo's and c-suite management types, … Continue reading out of the covoid – a brief from a retired american service worker.
*record scratch, freeze frame* yep, it's me. you're probably wondering how we got into this situation. i. election 2020. i found myself saying the same goddamn thing this year, as well. no surprise there, i've been saying the same goddamn things over and over these past four years, living in the cyclical dystopian nightmare that … Continue reading barrelling towards the denouement, in four parts – fear & loathing as america burns.
berkeley, ca. rainbow; 24 march 2020. coworking at the house of ellington; 27 march 2020. city street; 23 march 2020. looking out; 26 march 2020. out yesterday - emilia's flowers gofundme; 27 march 2020. support my photography - on patreon.
berkeley, ca. scenes from the store; 18 march 2020. signs; 18 march 2020. support my photography - on patreon.
i realize it's a miracle that i've been able to live in the bay area as a blue collar artist hustling about $25k a year at my joe job waiting tables in a hotel restaurant. it's also a miracle i can take sick days and paid time off doing this kind of work, a benefit … Continue reading into the covoid – a brief from an american service worker.
julius warhol, paul frank/andy warhol foundation; ca. 2002 i'd kicked myself after the fact for not wearing my vintage paul frank tee that day, a collab with the andy warhol foundation, circa early aughts. maybe that's what led to the fate of pan's fifth, i thought. we'd stayed until the museum closed, having wandered the … Continue reading requiem for pan’s fifth.
sticker bombs : about to deploy. as an indie artist out here living outlaw style on the edges of late capitalism, i'd posit that most of us have one - fatal flaw, achilles heel, call it what you will. mine? that eternal struggle, negotiating the space between my creative productivity and self-promotion. the slap poem … Continue reading a brief note on the artist’s fatal flaw.
one year -- from there to here. 11 august 2018. from there. from there on the couch. where i would wake at three a.m. one ordinary saturday morning, out of my doze to find my partner, then. dead on the floor, not yet forty years old. a cruel trick of the fates, i'd find myself … Continue reading one year — from there to here.