as the clock strikes twelve — fear and loathing as america burns.


it still doesn’t feel real, you know, even though we’ve had the last three months to get used to this most heinous of american ideas. i spent inauguration day mimosa hazing and weed dazing my way through the beginning chapters of this incredibly traumatic, national acid trip of terror — the penultimate fucked-up, dystopian novel in which we’re forced to live, a narrative likely to last for at least the next four years, written in real time by presidump trump, dannon yogurt, reince!, and their racist cronies.

yes, friends, indeed, it’s been quite the fucking ride since inauguration day, hasn’t it? the steady piss stream of executive orders issued forth by the tiny pen of our reality star cum presidump with a small p always, taking one long, massive, dannon yogurt shit on the Constitution, the rule of law, common decency, etc, etc while populating our house with a cast of cabinet picks comprised of fascist billionaires, morons, or some combination thereof. and just when you think he’s gone as far as he’s gonna go he goes fucking further — fear and loathing as america burns. today marks twenty-two days in and it feels like it’s already been a fucking year.

but with the democrats cast as their foil, the party of academics and quote unquote good guys really doesn’t amount to much more than a herd of feckless thinkers that talk a good fucking game but, ultimately, just end up falling in line like the rest of them because they’re either bought or they’re too busy wringing their hands over optics, or some combination thereof. and before you fucking go off on me… hero of the left, elizabeth warren, for example, a fucking college professor, alright? harvard, wasn’t it? voted to confirm “dr.” ben carson to run the department of housing and urban development, a man who i think can be fairly characterized as about as intelligent as a paramecium. i guess she earned some points back, though, when o’connell told her to sit down for trying to quote coretta scott king on the senate floor during debate on senator jefferson *the confederacy is alive and well. sounds like it, at least* sessions confirmation for us attorney general.


jfk airport, 28 january 2017. (stephanie keith, getty)

i wept as i watched the news break that saturday with the announcement of his muslim travel ban, immigration order, whatever you want to call that fascist, piece of shit rule, heartened slightly by beautiful images of the mass protests at airports, pro bono lawyers showing up to volunteer. mostly i was just sad, though. at what he’s doing, what he’s being allowed to do, and what this country is becoming, as a result.


signage, at occupy l.a. 2011. (photographed by pan ellington.)

women’s march, lake merritt — oakland, ca; 21 january 2017. (photographed by pan ellington.)

shit’s been brewing, though, these past five years and we saw it burst forth again the first fucking day after tomorrow. they’ve tried to write him and themselves as the heroes, but they just can’t see that that’s not how it works, no matter how oppressive the system is, continues to be, and has yet to become. cause there will always be a faction of us that just won’t shut up or rest and now we’ve been joined by the newly enlightened masses, waking from the clutches of our national acid trip of terror, fucked-up dystopian novel— writing OURSELVES as the heroes that we’ve been waiting for in a parallel narrative, one that they’ll never control. revolution runs in our blood, right or left, it’s all the same.


demonstration against m*L@, uc berkeley, berkeley, ca; 1 february 2017 (photographed by pan ellington.)

you wanna argue the merits of the first amendment you’re gonna be preaching to the choir with me. i’m all about the free and open exchange of ideas and that so do not because that includes those with which i do not agree. but there went the liberals wringing their hands over optics again…

“it’s lit.” demonstration against m*L@, uc berkeley, berkeley, ca; 1 february 2017 (photographed by pan ellington)

…this on behalf of a man that’s outed and mocked a trans woman as part of a previous speech and whose current speaking tour is centered around the idea of ending “sanctuary” campuses that protect undocumented students. something around, what? three hundred ICE raids this weekend alone so don’t try to say peaceful protest to me. diversity of tactics, it’s a novel concept and if now isn’t a good time to get radical as fuck, then i don’t know when it’ll be. just like our politics, what we see as radical is completely subjective, but go out and be. that.

  • radically kind.
  • radical action.
  • radically engaged.
  • radical ally.
  • radically loving.

at home with her; 9 february 2017 (photographed by pan ellington)

radically loving. like i said, mimosa hazing and weed dazing, having a schmoke and day drinking with my queer lover. that’s how i rang in the trump quote presidency, scared shitless, reveling in the wonder of our odds, the comfort of her arms, both literal and not. i’ve said to her, on more than one occasion, that the country may be burning down around us, but at least we have each other. and i guess this is my way of saying the same thing to you now.

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