experiment 39 : 31.

© dr. hugo heyrman
check it.

i’ve seen a pattern emerge as of late.

this weekend on a stroll, a homeless gentleman, obviously drunk, seemed to have something to say to me.  popped out the earbuds and he slurred to me,
“are you a whuh-maaaan?”
to which i replied,
“that’s none of your fucking business.”

and as i walked away he called after me,
“heeeey.  i am soooooory.”
but i didn’t stop.

i walked away and i thought to myself
that maybe i had missed an opportunity
to be a better person and say something like
“i’m a human being.”

but that didn’t happen.

the next day.
walking the kids through the hood
passing a family in a crosswalk
the mother not looking at the three of us, my dogs and i
but at me
and + it felt, at least + through me.

it’s always the suburban regulars.
picking up their kids for spring break or what have you.
as if they’ve never seen an androgynous looking chick with tattoos and dreadlocks.

and then sunday + of course +.
walking past the corner church.
a guy stands on the steps, staring as i passed him.
“what the fuck are you looking at?”
 as if i’m some naked monsterfreak or something.

i really don’t fucking get it.
i realize my appearance is somewhat unconventional.
that does not make me a they, an other.
but it does.

there is a part of me that fights against it and relishes it in the same feeling.

i guess it’s just that
in these instances
it’s just so apparent
the them and the us, the we and the them.
disheartening, in a way.

but i have gratitude.
that this sort of thing doesn’t happen all that often.
most people smile.
say hello.

most of them do.

 

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